Charles and I have been doing this relationship thing for a while now. We live together. We have joint purchases we’ve made. We have a beautiful baby dog together. Pretty serious, right? Well, this is the first year we’ve been together for Christmas. Two years ago, I was globetrotting. Last year, we spent it separately. This year, we’re in the same city, and we’re ready to make our first joint holiday season happen!

We spent a lot of time working through the usual “where are we going?” negotiation, but I think we finally have a plan. Charles’s parents live a flight away. We’re lucky that it’s a direct flight, but it’s still a $450 flight. On the other hand, my parents live about three hours away. This year, we spent Thanksgiving with my parents, but we’re splitting the Christmas break between both parents.

We’ll be with our parents for New Years, but his for the actual holiday.

It’s difficult. Our families are very different. Mine is loud and boisterous and nonreligious. Charles’s is as far on the other end of the spectrum as possible. Quiet, more devoted to the religious side of the holidays. Finding the compromise between forming our own traditions and respecting the traditions of our families has been complicated, and not something I’ve had to manage before.

It’s been nice to be able to have Hanukkah to ourselves, alone at home, to celebrate. Next up is Christmas, which comes laden with obligation. So, here I am, asking for your tips. How do you handle the holidays? Bonus points if you’re an interfaith family!