Making Friends as an Adult

In the past five years, I’ve lived in four places. Moving sucks at any age, but making friends as an adult is the worst. When I moved to Duluth, I knew my husband and no one else. It’s been a few months now, and I’m feeling grateful to have landed. I am out of the house multiple nights per week. I have people I can talk to every day, from “hey do you want to go to this restaurant” to “do you want to check out a new trail”. It’s been fantastic, and one of the best parts of our new life here.

Join a group (or start one!)

The first thing I did? Joined some groups. Book clubs, through the local library. Cooking classes. Running clubs. Pretty much anything you’re interested in. And if there’s no group you want to join? Make your own! Using things like Meetup or Facebook, you can create your community.

Visit local businesses

A great place to meet people with similar interests is at local businesses. It’s easy to find people with shared goals when you shop at the same niche stores. Another good friend is one that I met while at a workshop

Don’t be afraid to be assertive

Making friends requires a certain inability to be shy. “We should get together sometime,” means “We are never hanging out.” You gotta jump in, make a solid plan, and stick to it. It takes some confidence, but that’s how making friends has to go. One of my best friends, I took the phone out of her hand to put my number in. I am also not afraid to reach out when I want to get together. Direct is better than not.

Swipe right

Not Tinder…but Bumble. Bumble has a BFF portion (strictly not for dating!) where I’ve been able to meet some great friends. It is, like online dating, very hit or miss, but if it pays off, it’s worth the effort.

Go to events

When we first moved, I felt like I was going crazy staying at home. I looked at Facebook events and found some in my area that sounded interesting. And that was that! On the weekends I would plan out my week and have two or three things lined up. It’s easier to meet people when I’m out of the house regularly.

Once you have one friend…leverage that

Once you have one friend, you can start meeting up with their extended friends. You won’t always like all of their friends, but it is an opportunity to get closer to more people and extend out your group.

Here’s to a 2020 that’s full of your new friends! Let me know your tips below!