Blindness
I’ve been blind recently. I don’t mean that
in a figurative manner. I mean physically unable to see. It’s yet another
setback in an increasingly difficult time of year. So here’s the story from
start to finish. It might be a little long. If you skip to the bottom, there
are some other notes as well.
WEDNESDAY
Tuesday was a long one for me. I had two
exams, one at 2 and the other at 6. Afterwards, I headed to the library to
study for the two other exams I still had to tackle, one on Saturday and
another for the following Tuesday. I don’t think I went to bed until about 3
am. Wednesday at 9:30 am, I woke up. Everything was blurry. That’s all fine and
dandy because I wear glasses (or contacts) every single day. But even with my
glasses on, things were still blurrier than they should be with them off.
I figured eye strain was the main cause.
Long nights with little sleep and lots of computer screens were the likely
culprit. I decided to leave it a day or two and then see a doctor if it didn’t
get better. Luckily, I could afford to take a day off at this point. At this
point I had a visual range of about 12 inches in front of my face, with my
glasses.
Then the pain began. On a scale of one to
ten, it was about a five, and much worse in my right eye. I had a hot shower
around noon and the steam made it better, and then I had a nap until about 4.
When I woke up, the vision was worse. We’re talking about 3 inches visual
acuity. My friend Kathleen then suggested that I go to A&E and see if they
could tell what was happening.
Here is Nova Scotia there is this brilliant
thing, where if you dial 811, you get to talk to an RN and they give you
advice. Beth suggested I do that before going to Emerg. I explained everything
I just explained to you to Janet, the nurse on the line. We talked for a bit
about things that it could be, and other symptoms I might have. Then, in the
middle of the sentence, she stopped, and said, “Caitlin, I want you to hang up,
call yourself a cab, and go to the hospital right now. Okay?”
Yikes. Kathleen said she’d meet me at the
hospital. That was nice of her. I caught a cab and headed off to A&E. I was
through triage and was waiting when Kathleen showed up. We waited for less than
five minutes before we were put in a room with an RN. She took my temperature
and blood pressure and did an eye test with the charts. Then she left. Ten
minutes later, a girl named Katie showed up. “Hi, I’m Katie,” she said. I
asked, “Are you a resident?” to which she replied, “Not quite yet! Hahaha!”
Those are not reassuring words. Katie did some weird optical light waving
around that seemed really useless, and then left.
Katie’s supervisor then shows up, Jen, who
is a for real doctor, and not a not-quite-a-resident. She decides that I maybe
have glaucoma. At this point my left eye’s vision went in a big way too. Lots
of eye drops and poking of my corneas later, it was decided that I did not have
glaucoma. Jen then decided to call in an ophthalmologist. But wait! It’s a
migraine. Except I don’t have any head pain. “Okay, so it’s maybe a complicated
migraine.” Also not reassuring words. They decide, mostly with my consent, but
the way they phrased it, it wasn’t a question, to give me IV drugs for that.
They send in the most angry, uppity nurse ever who proceeds to shove my IV in
painfully, destroying my vein. It’s still not quite healed, and it’s been more
than a week.
Finally, the ophthalmologist shows up.
Andrew. Andrew is really really really attractive. Thank God for
small blessings. He decides that I’ve really scratched both corneas, after many
more eye drops and poking. That makes so much more sense than any of the other
things that they have suggested. Three hours after arriving at the hospital, I
walk out with a prescription for an antibiotic to safeguard the scratches from
infection. At this point, I am tired, and hungry, and still can’t see.
It should be mentioned that Kathleen has
been texting my mother for me this entire time, and she has just been flipping
out, thinking that I’m going to die. After calming her down, Kathleen and I got
some supper and I went to bed.
THURSDAY
This was the day from hell. Intense pain in
my eyes all day. I wanted to tear my eyes out. Luckily no one was home, because
I spent the whole day trying not to scream in pain, crying, or sleeping. It was
a lather, rinse, and repeat sort of day. Kathleen, Mom, and my roommates both
kept trying to check up on me, but I was not in the mood for dealing with
people. Dutifully, every five hours, I would pry my eyes open and dump in my
antibiotics, hoping that they did something.
To cap this whole extravaganza off, I was incredibly sensitive to light, so I
took to hanging out in the bathroom, because it’s the only room we have without
any windows. It was really just nice that my roommates let me do my thing. I
imagine it was really annoying for them.
FRIDAY
This was a repeat of Thursday. Really.
Everyone left and I was in pain again. I took a nap in the bathtub.
SATURDAY
The pain was gone today, but I couldn’t see.
I had an exam that was really difficult to write, but I soldiered through it.
The professor wouldn’t provide me with any accommodations, so I was really on
my own for this one. I think it went okay, but definitely not stellar.
SUNDAY
Still no seeing. At this point, I was doing
all of my studying via my cell phone, because I could see it. I decided it was
time to call the ophthalmologist again, because something was obviously not
right. Going to the hospital on a Sunday really sucks because no one who is
working wants to be there. The doctor I got in the eye centre was named Ana,
and she was a real piece of work. After lots of eye drops, poking and prodding,
we talked about how I was just going to have to suck it up until this got
better. It would get better, but it could be a while. Oh, except I have an
unnatural light response, so it might be cancer. Well dang. Once again, not
superbly reassured. Now, against my better judgement, I went on WebMD (again,
via phone) to see what this could possibly be earlier in the day, and that was
not a good plan. The things ranged from cancer to MS to ALS, which are all
things I don’t want, and are all more aggressive when you’re diagnosed at age
25 or less, which I am. Still not reassured. Ana then told me it wasn’t cancer,
it was just some keratitis. That’s not deadly. Great.
The next big issue came when I asked about
getting a note from her saying that I needed an extra-large print exam or
something for my psych exam on Tuesday. Things went downhill quickly from here.
She gave me this look that just screamed ‘you’re about to get a lecture’. “Caitlin,
just between us girls, are you ready for this exam? All of these antibiotics
you’re on have some nasty side effects to be taking them for fun.”
Goddamnit, I am not doing all of this for
fun. I can’t see and don’t want to fail my exam. Also, this whole experience
has been frightening for me. It’s terrifying to think that you’re going blind,
or about to die, or that this may never get better. Not to mention, if you’re
trying to fake an illness, this is not it. Ophthalmologists just keep jamming
stuff in your eyes. It’s uncomfortable at best. Jeez. Just fake a head cold or
something.
After that, I requested another doctor.
This doctor was named Nicole and was much more understanding. Nicole gave me
some more eye drops of several varieties and told me to just wait it out. When
I brought up the exam and the doctor’s note again, she asked if I would come
back in the next day to get looked at again, and then she would give me the
note. Dandy.
MONDAY
Stopping back in, it was determined that my
vision had gotten better as compared to yesterday. I could read text, so I
could do the exam. Excellent, but it could be weeks until I’m back to full
vision. Dang.
Yikes. It's now Saturday again. Things are better.
So here we are today. Every day, my vision
gets a little bit better. It’s been a long week though, and I’m still not back
to where I’d like to be. The saddest part of this whole business was that I
missed the midnight premiere of the Hobbit that I had already bought tickets
for. I feel really shallow that that is what I was the most sad about. I also
haven’t read a book this week, or last week, so I’m two behind, due to not
being able to see. Never fear though, I’ll be catching up. I got a few new beauty products to review, but it's hard to do your makeup when your face is blurry. It's coming, i promise.
So yes. That is where we are right now. I
missed you guys. I have two more posts written and ready to go up, so look
forward to that for the next couple of days. Also, there will be a
not-too-spoilery Hobbit review coming. I’m still not able to see well, but I’m
going to see it in IMAX tomorrow. The screen is so huge that it doesn’t matter
that I can’t see. I’m also working on a catch-up of all the books I’ve read
that I didn’t mention. Oh. I fly to Hawaii Monday too. So there might be some
hot weather blogging. :D
Busy busy. Anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow.