Blindness


I’ve been blind recently. I don’t mean that in a figurative manner. I mean physically unable to see. It’s yet another setback in an increasingly difficult time of year. So here’s the story from start to finish. It might be a little long. If you skip to the bottom, there are some other notes as well.

WEDNESDAY
Tuesday was a long one for me. I had two exams, one at 2 and the other at 6. Afterwards, I headed to the library to study for the two other exams I still had to tackle, one on Saturday and another for the following Tuesday. I don’t think I went to bed until about 3 am. Wednesday at 9:30 am, I woke up. Everything was blurry. That’s all fine and dandy because I wear glasses (or contacts) every single day. But even with my glasses on, things were still blurrier than they should be with them off.

I figured eye strain was the main cause. Long nights with little sleep and lots of computer screens were the likely culprit. I decided to leave it a day or two and then see a doctor if it didn’t get better. Luckily, I could afford to take a day off at this point. At this point I had a visual range of about 12 inches in front of my face, with my glasses.

Then the pain began. On a scale of one to ten, it was about a five, and much worse in my right eye. I had a hot shower around noon and the steam made it better, and then I had a nap until about 4. When I woke up, the vision was worse. We’re talking about 3 inches visual acuity. My friend Kathleen then suggested that I go to A&E and see if they could tell what was happening.

Here is Nova Scotia there is this brilliant thing, where if you dial 811, you get to talk to an RN and they give you advice. Beth suggested I do that before going to Emerg. I explained everything I just explained to you to Janet, the nurse on the line. We talked for a bit about things that it could be, and other symptoms I might have. Then, in the middle of the sentence, she stopped, and said, “Caitlin, I want you to hang up, call yourself a cab, and go to the hospital right now. Okay?”

Yikes. Kathleen said she’d meet me at the hospital. That was nice of her. I caught a cab and headed off to A&E. I was through triage and was waiting when Kathleen showed up. We waited for less than five minutes before we were put in a room with an RN. She took my temperature and blood pressure and did an eye test with the charts. Then she left. Ten minutes later, a girl named Katie showed up. “Hi, I’m Katie,” she said. I asked, “Are you a resident?” to which she replied, “Not quite yet! Hahaha!” Those are not reassuring words. Katie did some weird optical light waving around that seemed really useless, and then left.

Katie’s supervisor then shows up, Jen, who is a for real doctor, and not a not-quite-a-resident. She decides that I maybe have glaucoma. At this point my left eye’s vision went in a big way too. Lots of eye drops and poking of my corneas later, it was decided that I did not have glaucoma. Jen then decided to call in an ophthalmologist. But wait! It’s a migraine. Except I don’t have any head pain. “Okay, so it’s maybe a complicated migraine.” Also not reassuring words. They decide, mostly with my consent, but the way they phrased it, it wasn’t a question, to give me IV drugs for that. They send in the most angry, uppity nurse ever who proceeds to shove my IV in painfully, destroying my vein. It’s still not quite healed, and it’s been more than a week.

Finally, the ophthalmologist shows up. Andrew. Andrew is really really really attractive. Thank God for small blessings. He decides that I’ve really scratched both corneas, after many more eye drops and poking. That makes so much more sense than any of the other things that they have suggested. Three hours after arriving at the hospital, I walk out with a prescription for an antibiotic to safeguard the scratches from infection. At this point, I am tired, and hungry, and still can’t see.

It should be mentioned that Kathleen has been texting my mother for me this entire time, and she has just been flipping out, thinking that I’m going to die. After calming her down, Kathleen and I got some supper and I went to bed.

THURSDAY
This was the day from hell. Intense pain in my eyes all day. I wanted to tear my eyes out. Luckily no one was home, because I spent the whole day trying not to scream in pain, crying, or sleeping. It was a lather, rinse, and repeat sort of day. Kathleen, Mom, and my roommates both kept trying to check up on me, but I was not in the mood for dealing with people. Dutifully, every five hours, I would pry my eyes open and dump in my antibiotics, hoping that they did something. To cap this whole extravaganza off, I was incredibly sensitive to light, so I took to hanging out in the bathroom, because it’s the only room we have without any windows. It was really just nice that my roommates let me do my thing. I imagine it was really annoying for them.

FRIDAY
This was a repeat of Thursday. Really. Everyone left and I was in pain again. I took a nap in the bathtub.

SATURDAY
The pain was gone today, but I couldn’t see. I had an exam that was really difficult to write, but I soldiered through it. The professor wouldn’t provide me with any accommodations, so I was really on my own for this one. I think it went okay, but definitely not stellar.

SUNDAY
Still no seeing. At this point, I was doing all of my studying via my cell phone, because I could see it. I decided it was time to call the ophthalmologist again, because something was obviously not right. Going to the hospital on a Sunday really sucks because no one who is working wants to be there. The doctor I got in the eye centre was named Ana, and she was a real piece of work. After lots of eye drops, poking and prodding, we talked about how I was just going to have to suck it up until this got better. It would get better, but it could be a while. Oh, except I have an unnatural light response, so it might be cancer. Well dang. Once again, not superbly reassured. Now, against my better judgement, I went on WebMD (again, via phone) to see what this could possibly be earlier in the day, and that was not a good plan. The things ranged from cancer to MS to ALS, which are all things I don’t want, and are all more aggressive when you’re diagnosed at age 25 or less, which I am. Still not reassured. Ana then told me it wasn’t cancer, it was just some keratitis. That’s not deadly. Great.

The next big issue came when I asked about getting a note from her saying that I needed an extra-large print exam or something for my psych exam on Tuesday. Things went downhill quickly from here. She gave me this look that just screamed ‘you’re about to get a lecture’. “Caitlin, just between us girls, are you ready for this exam? All of these antibiotics you’re on have some nasty side effects to be taking them for fun.”

Goddamnit, I am not doing all of this for fun. I can’t see and don’t want to fail my exam. Also, this whole experience has been frightening for me. It’s terrifying to think that you’re going blind, or about to die, or that this may never get better. Not to mention, if you’re trying to fake an illness, this is not it. Ophthalmologists just keep jamming stuff in your eyes. It’s uncomfortable at best. Jeez. Just fake a head cold or something.

After that, I requested another doctor. This doctor was named Nicole and was much more understanding. Nicole gave me some more eye drops of several varieties and told me to just wait it out. When I brought up the exam and the doctor’s note again, she asked if I would come back in the next day to get looked at again, and then she would give me the note. Dandy.

MONDAY
Stopping back in, it was determined that my vision had gotten better as compared to yesterday. I could read text, so I could do the exam. Excellent, but it could be weeks until I’m back to full vision. Dang.

Yikes. It's now Saturday again. Things are better.

So here we are today. Every day, my vision gets a little bit better. It’s been a long week though, and I’m still not back to where I’d like to be. The saddest part of this whole business was that I missed the midnight premiere of the Hobbit that I had already bought tickets for. I feel really shallow that that is what I was the most sad about. I also haven’t read a book this week, or last week, so I’m two behind, due to not being able to see. Never fear though, I’ll be catching up. I got a few new beauty products to review, but it's hard to do your makeup when your face is blurry. It's coming, i promise.

So yes. That is where we are right now. I missed you guys. I have two more posts written and ready to go up, so look forward to that for the next couple of days. Also, there will be a not-too-spoilery Hobbit review coming. I’m still not able to see well, but I’m going to see it in IMAX tomorrow. The screen is so huge that it doesn’t matter that I can’t see. I’m also working on a catch-up of all the books I’ve read that I didn’t mention. Oh. I fly to Hawaii Monday too. So there might be some hot weather blogging. :D

Busy busy. Anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow.
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