OKStupid Part III: Actually Practical Dating Advice
Okay, Valentine's Day is over and it's time to
get back on that horse. I have had some luck with online dating, so
in my experience, here are some of my top tips that will help you get
the most out of it.
- Decide what you want.
I found it helpful to make a criteria list. You
had to meet all of the criteria for me to agree to met you in person.
These included being in the right age range, not having previous
children, having a college degree, preferring dogs over cats (I was
in the process of acquiring Biscuit at this time), whatever is
important to you. That way, I could go down the checklist and
systematically reject people who didn't fit what I was looking for
rahter than realize that after a couple of bad dates.
- Choose your website wisely.
What are you looking for? Something long-term?
A casual hookup? To get married within the year? Different websites
will give you different things, so decide what you want and choose
accordingly.
- Photos.
These
also need to be chosen wisely. Put up 3-5 photos and make them good.
First, you do
need
to look like your photos. Yeah, they can tell. You also need to be
alone in these photos, and they need to be of you, not a pretty
landscape or your dog or whatever. You and only you. No group shots.
Also no mirror selfies. None. I recommend using a real camera, not a
phone, if possible. You can see the quality difference. One of your
photos should also be you doing something interesting. At the very
least, it's a great conversation starter.
- Don't lie.
You will get caught. There is a difference
between good marketing and flat lies. I went on several dates with
guys who said they were 5'10. If I'm 5'7 and am the same height in
flats, you're not 5'10. This also goes for things like body type,
job, education...whatever. Just don't lie about it.
- Put yourself out there.
At some point, there is an element of
risk here. I'm not talking about the things that you know in terms of
safety. You know to meet in a pulic place, and not give out too much
information before you've met a few times. But there is also the need
to take some emotional risks. Going on a date with someone you've
never seen in the flesh is hard for some people, and you have t get
past that. There are probably going to be some losers before you find
a winner, so don't give up after one or two frogs before you find the
prince.
You are going to find someone great, I
just know it.